||Sunday, December 10, 2006||
dreaming with a broken heart. | 12/10/2006 11:17:00 pm
---I made a wish upon a fallen star.
Like it,my dream was shattered.
Now,I gotta learn to pick up the pieces alone.--- moonstricken again.
Reality slapped me on friday evening. I was working as usual. There was this moment,i was left alone at my cashier counter as my colleagues were busy with their own stuffs. Nothing to do, i picked up the phone and i dialled 9880722.....I stopped immediately when i realised it was Dennis's (my ex bf's) number. I put down the phone to think. For the past 1 year plus, i have been attached to someone,both physically and mentally. It was a habit to dial that number first whenever and wherever i feel that i needed someone. It was like my own special 18oo helpline.
For the first time in 21 months,i felt alone. With nobody to fall back on,just myself to deal with all the emotions.this time,i'm alone.I started rumaging through my brain,who should i call to talk to,and i only came up with three names. They're Kim,Jamin and the other shall remain unknown. These three people are the closest people to me and i treasure them most.i want to include them in whatever i do and whatever i'm thinking. So i started to dial unknown's number.Half way dialling,i put down the phone again.i decided not to call him so abruptly as he might be too busy to entertain me. So i called Jamin. Half way dialling, i put down the phone again. i realised he's not free on friday nights as he will be having some church sessions. Of course, the next one would be Kim. We talked on the phone for about a few pathetic minutes and i gotta hang up cos' there were already a queue forming up in front of the cashier.
Digressing a lil' bit here.
Anyway,Helplines.Have you ever wondered,how many Helplines do you have?
Well, people may enter your life easily and make life really hard for you when they leave suddenly.
People may tend to pretend they're there for you and put on a fake smile when they see you.You'll never know.People may be nice to you in a minute and the next minute they're bitching behind your back.You'll never ever know too. So i guess i have to say, dont believe a person that easily,one might be there for a moment and be gone for the next.
Be on guard and watch your back.
With my Helplines decreasing to 2, i finally know what's a loss.With my hopes decreasing to zero, i finally learn how to face the world alone again. I've seriously learnt my lessons.
Erica Janael.
it'spartytime,baby
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truth | 12/10/2006 12:22:00 am
Since the title today is truth.i shall spit out all the truth bout myself.
Below are reasons why any guy should not have me as their girlfriend :
1.i can never be a good girlfriend because i'm super darn possesive.
2.i have mood swings everytime period's near.
3.i can be irritating because i need to talk to my bf at the end of the day.(well,a short chat at least)
4.i am not like the girly girls. not the typical kinda girl u can easily find at orchard road.
5.i want my bf to be there whenever i'm not feeling right.(if one cant be there,at least have a good reason and explain it.)
6.i may be demanding at times.(usually during the mood swings)
7.i do bitch behind people's back.( though not most of the time)
8.i do use vulgarities(this is sooo common.)
9.i will tend to compare our relationship with other couples'.
10.my english is poor.
11.i'm not good lookin at all.i am very self-conscious.i have very low self-esteem.basically, ZERO confidence in myself.
12.i am very fickle-minded.(i depend on my friends,a lot, to make up my mind.)
13.i believe that some things are needless to say cos' actions speak louder than words.AND, let the eyes do the talking.
14.i dont like being controlled too much or the feeling of being tied down too tightly.
15.I'm quite emotional.
16.i have very very wild imaginations.erm bad,wild ones.
17.i am super paranoid.
18.i'm lazy.
19.i dont do housework.
20.i think i'm spoiled.
Below are reasons why a guy should go for me:
1.Well,though i'm not good-looking and stuffs like that,i do have a little bit of fashion sense.
2.i love enjoying silence. esp,on a beach or smth.
3.i love beaches.
4.i'm quite a romantic person.
5.i cant sing for f*ck.but i love singing.
6.i dont like guys paying anything for me.
7.i love going GUY SHOPPING!
8.i'll always think that my partner is the "best-est" person on earth, in all the aspects.
9.i'll make try my best to make my partner feel great around me.
10.i'll put in 200% of effort, love,whatever (if i have the chance to) into every relationship.
11.i'm very protective over people i know.(be it friends or bfs.)
12.i just love being together with my partner and it really doesnt matter where we're going.
13.i like being different from people.
below are things that i like bout myself
1.i like my hair.
2.i like my calves.Though,my skin's too dry.
3.i like my teeth.
4.i like my smile.
5.i like my ears,nose,lips,eyes.
6.i like the fact that i love nature.
7.i like my sense of humour.
8.i like being simple-minded(at times).
9.i like my allergy to coffee. =))))
10.i like the way i do things when i'm super devoted to it. for eg, loving someone and singing.
below are things that i hate bout myself
1.i hate my body,too fat.
2.i hate the fact that i cant dance.
3.i hate my eyebrows.
4.i hate not having double-eye lids.
5.i hate my thighs,filled with cellulite!
6. i hate my arms,flabby like hell.
7.i hate being so naive.
8.i hate feeling so dumb.
9. i hate being so gullible most of the times.
10.i hate being so paranoid all the time.
11.i hate my imagination--too wild.
12.i hate it when i cant sing as well as others.
13.i hate the fact that i cant cook.
Erica Janael.
it'spartytime,baby
