||Thursday, February 08, 2007||
With a broken wing,I'll soar up high. | 2/08/2007 12:41:00 am
Previously, i been in shit so many times.i'm totally tired.
Things started changing after the break-up. Hooked up with a new guy, changed personality, got closer with my classmates, became "cool-er" and many more..
Then things started to get worse when new guy stopped contacting me, ex-boyfriend started talking behind my back (he really hates me now), classmates and i couldnt hit off really well and of course, so much more.
And then things got slightlty a little better again, ex-boyfriend finally wanted to make peace,shake hands and be friends, classmates started to compromise, new guy came back as a friend.
But what the fuck, things hit the rock bottom ever since i heard one of my good friend's brother passed away. Before, i could be relieve from the shock, the next thing i knew was my best friend got chased out from the house and her parents were going to sent her to a home if she couldnt find anywhere else to stay. While worrying, my sister threw a tantrum on me and we quarrelled and she told me that she's not going to pay for my school fees for next semester.Well, it's not like she has a choice.She's too broke to pay for me.Which means that i may be school-less in April and i may not even get a Diploma. Due to desperate measures, i called up one of my friends for the social escort company's number.He didnt want to give it to me.Well,i apologise for acting on impulse.=) next,ex-boyfriend called again and decided not to be friends.
Just when, i thought that any,any kinds of problems can be solved, another problem jolly-well popped up.The new guy went away,telling me that we could never be together because of my negativity.He didint want to be influenced by me. And so he left, and joined the other girl. NEGATIVITY.
Tell me people.Tell me. If u have a friend who called you up late at night telling you his brother had just passed away.Would you or would you not be negative? What do you want me to do.Smile and tell him a joke to cheer him up?WHAT THE FUCK.NO?!
If u have a friend who called u up suddenly crying over the phone and sounded so lost because she just got chased out of the house.Would you or would you not be panic and think of the worst that could happen? What do you want me to do? sing her a song to comfort her? Like NEVER?!
If one day u start staring into space and suddenly it just dawn on u that your family is soo broke that they cannot afford you to continue your studies anymore,would you or would you not break down?
Everyone experiences harsh times and everyone needs a break.
i'm never a superwoman.and i will never be one.There is a limit to everything.And that was it.
And yes,i broke down,i sobbed,i covered myself in the blankets to hide the my shameful face.
So,to the so-called "new guy"-----Nice cooking up some stories bout negativity .You should have just fucking open your mouth and told me the truth.It'll only take a few seconds.why go through so much trouble telling me i'm negative or what.I DONT FUCKING CARE.no matter what,u're a jerk anyway.Does it make a difference?
Sometimes there are just some things u cant be positive about.If u're always positive about everything then u're living in a world of your own, a world full of self-denial. Some things, some situations, you just got to think of the worst so as to be prepared. N some things, just happen and they'll make you feel down..
But i always tell myself there's always a way out to everything,so is that what u called negative? I doubt so,dude, i doubt so.
After living on this surface of the earth for fucking 17 to 18 years,i never had anyone telling me that i'm negative.
U were always there when i'm down,vexed and when i hated the world.
But when i gain back my energy to love the world again,u chose to walk away.
All i can say is,"too bad, u werent here with me.It's just too bad.".
Your words aint gonna bring me down.
I'm good,i'm great,i'm positive,for all i care.
Erica Janael.
it'spartytime,baby
||||
Right to be Wrong----Joss Stone | 2/08/2007 12:34:00 am
I've got the right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though i've never flown
Got a mind of my own
I'm flesh and blood to the bone,i'm not made of stone
I've got the right to be wrong
So just leave me alone.
Got the right to be wrong
I've been held down too long
I gotta break free
So i can finally breathe
Got the right to be wrong
I gotta sing my own song
Though i am singing out of key
But it just feels good to me
Got the right to be wrong
So just leave me alone
You're entitled to your opinion
But it's really my decision
I cant turn back
i'm on a mission
If you care, dont you dare
Blur my vision
Let me see all that i can see
Dont smother me with negativity
Whatever's out there waiting for me
I'm gonna face it willingly
I've got the right to be wrong...
So just leave me alone...
Erica Janael.
it'spartytime,baby
